Springtime Is Here! 4

Riverside, Illinois: March 23. 2007

The Secret

I've been practicing The Secret. By now you must know all about The Secret. Don't you watch Oprah? Neither do I. I could say what it's about, but that would be telling. Oh, OK. I never was much good at keeping a secret. It's about The Law of Attraction. Thoughts become things. You create your own reality. The cosmic boomerang. If you build it, they will come. There. Send the $23.95 to me. For $35, I'll say it on a DVD and your lips won't get tired reading.

So I've been practicing The Secret. It's the reason why justice always prevails. It's why good things always happen to optimists. Why unpleasant people never get what they want. Why innocent children are never hurt. You create your own destiny. For instance, today you were probably thinking "How can I get rich just by sitting around and thinking about being rich?" And now I'm here to answer that destiny. See how simple it is?

And I've been practicing The Secret. Me, I want a family, a big family. So I bought a bunch of toys. No family yet, but it will come. I'll need a wife first, so I've been setting two places at the table. I really want two wives but I've only got two matching plates. It will come. No food yet though, but I've been thinking hungry thoughts, and after a week I collapsed and a neighbor helped me into the hospital. And there I ate. See? But I didn't want to be sick, so I shunned all those unpleasant sick people there and paid close attention to the doctor and the nurses. And guess what? I got better. It really works!

I'm thinking with all these kids around how will I get some alone-time with my beloved? So I build a shed out back in the alley and put all the toys in there. Now for a romantic evening. I think "wine" and there it is, in my neighbor's Peapod bag. I think "music" and it comes out the radio. I think "fireplace" and gather some wood, leftover from the shed – see? No fireplace yet, but that's the beauty of The Secret. I believe in fireplace.

Crawling through the smoke, I keep thinking "Air." "Air." Did I somehow will that curtain on fire? As the coils pop through the flaming sofa, I think "I never did like that sofa." The Secret is helping me to get a new one. At least the kids are safe. Toward the end, I think "Stay cool," but it does not happen, at least not yet.

Oh, no!

All skate.

Ready, Aim,

Lyons, Illinois: March 17, 2007

At Ousmane's self-storage

Melrose Park, Illinois: March 11, 2007

Springtime Is Coming! 3

Riverside, Illinois: March 8, 2007

All suffering soon to end!

Man: Things sure are better now that the moose gave us back our pumpkins!
Woman: And our apples!
Moose: Things will be a lot better soon as these people are out of the picture.
Man: (psst! - who's the white lady?)

Question 6:

– from How To Study English, Ibo, Hausa
and Yoruba Languages by J.C. Anorue

I got your back:

Drawn while I wait with a friend at the Department of Employment Security...

Springtime Is Coming! 2

Pioneer Plaza, Chicago: March 1, 2007

Springtime Is Coming!

Chicago River: March 1, 2007