Nothing on the radio? Try Dollar Tree Radio Network.

Did you know there's such a beast as "Dollar Tree Radio Network"? I needed to buy marbles last week and wandered into the Dollar Tree that's in the strip mall next to my El stop. This is the same strip mall that contains the eye doctor's office where I once saw a very hung-over looking optometrist actually lifting the eye exam machine from the back of her dented mini-van as she swore like a sailor. Oh and there's also the Murray's Auto Parts Store with its toothy mascot -Then there's Dollar Tree and Dollar Tree Radio apparently. I'm struggling to figure out why the radio network that's pumped into all Dollar Tree stores both comforted and disturbed me all at once. I think the comforted part came from the fact that I am not a good bargain shopper. I'd like to be, but I just become overwhelmed until I can't decipher what's really a bargain, what's simply the giddiness associated with "just a dollar," and what's just crap. So the announcer anchoring me with "You're listening to Dollar Tree Radio" between Buddy Holly and Carly Simon was somewhat of a relief. A voice to guide me - kind of. Though there is the disturbing marketing scheme. They're reminding you around every shelf display that "everything's a dollar." It's the name of the store. Do you need a radio announcer too? It felt cult-like.

By the way, there were no marbles at Dollar Tree. Also, there's a strange amount of videos posted to YouTube that take place in Dollar Tree stores.